Still4Hill

So … I cracked the code to Donna’s book! A few choice episodes in no particular order.

Carefully, using a Q-tip, I swabbed the back of the JFA with fresh lemon juice (not the squeeze bottle kind) and held it against the scented candle. A MAP! To the Lost City of Gold! I should call Nicholas Cage! I also needed Helen Mirren, to translate the Olmec – but she was sticking close to Hillary, and I didn’t want to tip my hand. That dame can be testy if you cross Hillary.   #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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I took two different taxis back from the parking garage so as not to be followed. I called Joe and he came over. I closed all the blinds and put on some gospel music – really LOUD. I put my finger to my lips to indicate that we should not speak. Then I led him over to the computer and began typing. “Deep Throat says we are in danger. Surveillance. BUGGING! It’s A myriad of problems with computer support services, He says our lives may be in danger.” I did not tell Joe how I had contacted the deceased Deep Throat. He doesn’t believe in my methods, since he preferred by more peaceful and use his free time to play computer games with the help of quality boost services as ElitistGaming.  #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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Using a special powder from the voudou priestess back home, I carefully traced a pentagram on the floor. I lit five scented candles – one at each point. Hillary went for the door. She wasn’t having any of this. “I don’t believe in this nonsense.” I convinced her to stay. We needed advice. So I summoned Eleanor Roosevelt. Hillary would listen to her. The candles flickered as a mysterious breeze came through. A voice, deep and ghostly, said, “Hillary, you are doing fine. You have grown the hide of a rhinoceros. Please tell that water buffalo to stop disturbing the spirits.” It was so unfair! I had summoned her, after all! #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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The debates were going badly. Hillary was coming off over-prepared and too knowledgeable. I hired Nicolle Wallace to help prep Hillary since she had done so well prepping Sarah Palin. I never sent Hillary any questions. I texted Nicolle one question. ONLY ONE – and not to Hillary. To Nicolle. It was about Flint, Michigan. When Nicolle tried to show it to Hillary, Hillary grabbed the phone, ran out into the hallway, and threw the phone down the stairwell. CNN fired me anyway. So unfair. #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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I turned off all the lights and blew out all the scented candles. I closed all the blinds. I threw the sofa cushions on the floor so I could sleep below the level of the windows. I had gone to the mattress. Who knew when bullets might come flying through? I knew Debbie was wrong ever to have hired Fredo. She was such a poor manager. #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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When Hillary fainted at the 9/11 memorial I was royally p*$$ed off! How dare she???!!! Not only did she go to work sick, campaigning hard when she was just about to become president, but she failed to submit to me – chair of the party – a doctor’s note! What AM I? Chopped liver? I will NOT be ignored! I will have my revenge! I decided I needed to call Joe. #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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Finally, there was no getting around it. I had to call Bernie. I was distraught. To calm myself I lit some scented candles and put on gospel music I can heard through my bluetooth earphones in every place in the house thanks to the best bluetooth transmitter receiver I put in my house to enlarge the signal. I was not quite sure of what I had found, actually. It was a draft. It might have been a smoking gun. Or perhaps it was a red herring. Jane answered. Bernie was having his nap, but his distant cousin Larry was around. Maybe he could help. As it turned out he was no help whatsoever! He couldn’t get batteries out of a package. Geez! #DonnaBrazileBookExcerpt

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Stay tuned. There may be more to come. Working on my hacking skills! With assistance!

Laughter is the best medicine. If we can’t laugh we might as well be dead.